Wednesday 28 November 2007

Scattered

I glanced at that last post and thought, "oh, a week has passed. It was another long Tuesday to-day." Then I realized that, in fact, TWO weeks had passed. I'm mere days away from the end of my first term at Oxford. I can't quite process it yet, as I still have two papers to complete and turn in this week (one on Matthew Arnold's ideology and another on the commentaries on the Biblical story of the Great Flood). Still, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Which is nice, except it gets in my eyes and I can't see the audience and it keeps me awake, this bright light.

You know how after a training for a marathon and running it, people often get depressed? I feel like I'm in that sort of state. Not depressed, of course, just in this "down" slump. I need a break more than anything right now, but the idea of all that free time boggles the mind. I'll be spending about 5 weeks in Israel visiting my brother and my sister and their respective spouses, so that should be lovely. I booked the tickets back in September when I figured I'd hate it here and not have any friends in the area. But now that I see that's not the case, I wish I had only booked the tickets for three or so weeks in Israel. I'm also thinking ahead to Easter break and how I can spend a couple weeks in Oxford.

It's a beautiful city and I wish I had the time to just wander it with a camera and rolls of film (speaking of which, new photos here and here). Also one girl I've gotten to know pretty well lives in London and has invited me for visits over breaks.

Anyway, no use regretting all that nonsense. It will be a lovely time in Israel. I will be able to collect myself and all the bits of gray matter that are scattered about the Bodleian. First, however, I need to get through these next couple days: More coffee, please!

Tuesday 13 November 2007

Long Week Ahead

My train of thought as I woke up this morning:

What day is it? Saturday! But wait, I have to get up and do things, so it must be Friday, right? Wait, that can't be because I didn't get to go to CatWeazle last night. Must be Thursday. No, that can't be, I've not had an all-nighter for writing my history paper. Wednesday, then! If that's the case, then what happened to writing my paper for Dr Solomon last night? Hmm ... HOW CAN IT ONLY BE TUESDAY?

I ask you, how can I only have completed one day of the week? *Sigh* Wish me luck.

Monday 12 November 2007

Going Up

Since the last post I've been pretty busied-up. Readery, paperage, minor socializing, etc. I also developed the plague on my face which spread for days and days. Much consultation, a visit to the nurse, a doctor, and a pharmacy determined that it was impetigo and I needed a week's worth of antibiotics to not die. Or get more plague-y. Anyway, that's been clearing up and ought to done with pretty soon (thank God!).

Some of the healing time was whiled away in London. My Theology/Hebrew Scriptures tutor is fantastic. He and his wife have a house in Oxford and one in London and he invited me down fr Shabbos. It was so strange and so lovely to really step AWAY from all things school-work-y, but not step away from intellectual conversation, really. I was away for maybe 36 hours and I realized something important: I can pass time and not work and still be OK and not fall behind. See, when we're in Oxford all the time, even when we're not working we keep thinking "this is just a half hour break" or something -- there's no proper escape or release. There's always that tension. Going away and leaving most of my books and stuff behind was really good. Plus, I got 14 hours of sleep on Friday night. FOURTEEN. And lovely home-cooked Shabbos food and kiddush and just the feel of Shabbos. :) Happee timez. Also, on Motzei Shabbos Rabbi/Dr Solomon and his wife very generously took me a to see a play in Leicester Square, Shadowlands. It was fantastic -- beautifully written and acted, touching, witty ... I'm so glad I got to go and relax and appreciate it.

In other news, it's now back to the same old drag of read, notes, read, write, read, sleep. It's not too bad, really -- it's pretty satisfying as I make progress, even though it's a struggle. Actually, BECAUSE it's a struggle. For this week I have a paper on (1) the Mekilta de-Rabbi Ishmael, masechta Nezikin (related to Parshat Meshpatim) and (2) the reality or fabrication of "separate spheres" for men and women in Victorian England.

By the way, as for photos, I have taken and developed some more and will post them at the Flickr sites that are linked at the left ASAP.

Monday 5 November 2007

All Cultured Out

I've not posted in a while mostly because I've been a bit overwhelmed around here. Lately I seem to spend either ALL my time in the library (like 9 straight hours last week on my friend's birthday) or ALL my time relaxing/socializing (like this weekend when I barely cracked a book for three days). Now that I'm reaching mid-term burnout phase, it seems to have gotten worse. I'm going to have to reestablish a balance. That's what life's about, right? Balance.

So this is just a quick update to let you know I've not died. Definitely haven't gone to heaven. :) I expect to buckle down seriously this week, and then I want to establish a schedule maybe Thursday afternoon to plan the work for next week, since it looks like it will be pretty intense. This weekend I'm supposed to go to my tutor's house in London for Shabbat, while really is a lovely thing for him to do, but it makes me very anxious. I'll be sure to update on whether or not that happens.

Social life has been a bit strange for me. I was always the mellow one who just wanted to chill and read and hang out with some close friends. I have people here with whom to do that. But when I'm in a huge social gathering (like the Bop we had on Saturday night), I flit, flit, flit and drink, drink, drink and am not myself. I'm not sure I like who I am when I'm like that.

I think the strangest part is how much I drink when I can count on one hand the number of times in the past two years I drank during the school year. It's part of the culture, it's there all the time -- it would be easy to drink every night straight for a couple of weeks, and I know people who have. It's horrid, really, when you think about it like that. It seems, somehow, that this social lubricant is absolutely necessary for mingling here. Anyway, it's a very interesting social study, if I can remain sober enough to observe it!

OK, back to work, work, work. There ought to be new photos soon, too!

Wednesday 24 October 2007

Life Lesson #482

I was going to write something up last week after finishing my second paper of the week, but never got around to it. Since then, I've not had much to write about. I sprained my ankle Thursday night and busted up my bike a bit Friday, but both items are doing well now. The next paper, however ...

Being held up bike-less and with an injured ankle this weekend, I didn't get around to the libraries until Monday to do the reading for one tutorial (studying the prophet Micah and a bit of Heschel in connection with it) and all the reading (11 articles and books) and a paper for the next tutorial. So here I am, just under 12 hours from when the paper is due and not feeling so hot about it.

Although this is not the first time something has been difficult for me out here, I've been feeling particularly out of sorts to-day. It's making me realize that I need something, some daily something to keep my spirits up and my morale strong. The social thing won't really work for that (not going so well this week) and if I try to watch a bit of stand-up comedy or TV to cheer myself up I find myself watching hours and hours of it. Yummy food doesn't really work either. Do you guys have any ideas?

Anyway, things will be fine. I will finish this paper, turn it in on time, have a productive tutorial, and then hit the library for next week's paper. That's the most important thing I have to collect from this -- if I get a little bit behind, even just a day or two, it will drag me down in more ways than one. I'm lucky to have this brought to my attention so early in the term, anyway.

By the way, more photos are up! (Check out links on the left side of this page.) Much love to you all.

Thursday 18 October 2007

Timed Efforts (+Photos)

Note: Photos I mentioned last time are here and here, the first being particularly pertinent to Oxford/the SLC Programme, and the second just photos I’ve taken, here or elsewhere with my old Nikon. When I put up new photos, I’ll try to make a note of it in a post here to let you know.

I’ve finally completed the paper I’ve been working on for the last week, which gives me some free time to … write the paper that’s due to-morrow. It’s been a busy week, with my birthday passing on Monday. It was mostly uneventful, I got a lot of reading done and a few friends bought me drinks in celebration. There are plans with my flatmates to celebrate a bit this weekend, once our papers are completed for the week, but I expect it will all be pretty low-key.

I went to my first non-required class-y thing-y this week. We’re allowed (encouraged!) to go to all the seminars and lectures that are open to us, which is, you know, all of them. The lists are intimidating and a bit confusing so I kept missing ones I intended to check out. Yesterday, however, I made it to a seminar on African slavery in 17th century New England, taught by a sweet American woman turning in her PhD at Yale and working on a book. It was very interesting and there was quite a lot I didn’t know, which makes sense seeing how this woman is writing the definitive book on the subject. I hope to do more of that sort of dropping-in-on-smart-people lectures in the coming weeks.

Because my time is almost entirely mine with only two or three things a week I have to attend, (my two tutorials and the core class with the SLC Programme, the first of which is this afternoon), it’s been difficult organizing my time. I mean, there’s just so much of it, so it becomes easy to push off writing and reading and the important things. That’s one of the reasons I want to make a habit of going to more lectures – it’ll give me things around which to schedule my work.

I’ve been using the Chabad for that as well – going to all the little classes and talks, etc. It makes me feel involved a bit and its nice to spend that time in a frum environment. Plus, I’m learning things all the time – just this week, there was a “Lunch and Learn” session on the ethics of lying in Judaism, a lecture by a soldier of the 6 Day War in Israel, a weekly parsha class, and the leading expert on Yiddish literature spoke about the shtetl. To-night, there’s a Challah baking thing at the Chabad house, and after the Friday night dinner there will be a speaker on Jewish genetics. It’s like this every week; they've always got something going on and the Rabbi and his wife are wonderful.

I’ve spent a lot of time being anxious about the workload, and with good reason, but to be honest it feels good to have a schedule and things to do and people helping me improve. Despite a very difficult, draining week and a half, things are a little better to-day.

Thursday 11 October 2007

Week 1 Done

Finished my firstest paper for this morning's tutorial. Analyzed a selection of 18th century sources and discussed whether politeness can be described as an external code of conduct. It didn't go to poorly -- my tutor was kind enough to say it was pretty good for a first essay, but I still found the discussion rough.* After about half an hour, my mind went blank and I would try to answer questions but would find myself incapable of completing sentences. That doesn't really leave the best impression, I've learned.

It was a relief to get the first one done with, anyway. Now I have a better idea of what the professors might be looking for and how the tutorials go. And next week I won't be detoxing from alcohol so I can drown my humiliation in red wine instead of chocolate ice cream and peanut butter. :) (OK, it wasn't really THAT bad.)

In other news, I'm finding myself feeling a bit the odd one out among my flatmates/people on the program. It's not too bad, really, but I usually do find difficulty in this sort of social situations. Strangers, I can handle. People I need to see daily? More difficult. And it looks like a SLC-organized party is going to be in our flat this weekend, so, um, that'll be fun.

In cheerier news, I got some film developed from the first week here and I'll find a way to post some of my favorites here and put a link to a Flickr page I'll create or something.

Good Shabbos, good weekend to all. Send warm socks.

*The way these tutorials work is I meet one-to-one with each of my two professors each week for about an hour, during which time I read aloud the approximately 2000-word paper I've written during the preceding week. The next 35-45 minutes are spent discussing the topic, the merits and faults of the paper, and maybe a few minutes on the net week's paper. So it's about an hour spent on tearing apart a week's work. :)

Saturday 6 October 2007

Dullery

Internet. In flat. Happy.

I'm officially beginning my academic year at Oxford. I've met with both my tutors and have reading and assignments to do. It's a little intimidating (OK, a lot), but at the same time it's a relief to finally get started. You can only spend so much time at the Bar Quad and eating Jammy Dodgers.

As I mentioned, in my theology tutorial, we're going to be a doing (mostly textual) study of Hebrew Scriptures, beginning with Kohelet. I've picked up a few books, two on Kohelet and one on methods of reading the Old Testament. I don't have to do any sort of writing for the next meeting (Monday morning), just skim and study and reflect, but I don't know yet how to direct my thoughts on it. I'll be doing plenty or re-reading, I'm sure.

As for my history tutorial, I was able to reschedule my meeting with Will and he gave me a proper "answer this question" essay to do on politeness in the 18th century. It looks like we'll be doing quite a bit of history as studied through social and cultural perspectives, as opposed to politics. It looks like the professor went to a lot of effort arranging this just for me, contrary to my initial opinion that I was a tack-on student. It makes it more exciting. Now I just have to read the 10 or so sources and write the paper by Thursday. Golden.

In social news, um, I hate socially stuff. It'll be just fine, I know, but it's hard right now. There was a Back-to-School Bop last night, and at least I was able to loosen up a bit and meet some new-ish people. Good-ness. (PS Hard cider is dangerous.)

Will update when I have something more interesting and thought-provoking to write!

Thursday 4 October 2007

Catching Up

Although the last post is dated the 25th of September, the 4th of October is actually when I got to get my laptop online. Due to messy flat internet nonsense, only half the flats have internet now. Mine is not one of them.

I’ve been in Oxford for over a week now. Most of this time has been spent getting oriented with Wadham College, Oxford University, and the city of Oxford. We (the Sarah Lawrence College programme) are living in a row of flats about a half hour walk from our college, but since I was able to pick up a bike it’s an easy 10-minute ride. That leaves me bruised from ankle to knee. Don’t ask.

I had my first meeting with one of my tutors on Tuesday, with whom I’ll be studying Old Testament theology. We’re going to start with text-based studies of Kohelet, or Ecclesiastes and probably expand into more of the Writings of the Old Testament. I was supposed to meet with my other tutor to-day but being the inept ‘tard that I am, I missed our meeting. Yeah, you heard me, I missed my first impression with my professor of British history and literature in the 18th and 19th centuries. *dies*

Other than finding my way around Oxford, my time has been spent trying to fit in socially. I’m living in a flat with three Sarah Lawrence girls, Kim, Emily, and Jay. I’m not particularly close with any of them, but they – and most people on the program – have been great. There have also been countless freshers’ events at Wadham, including pub gulf (I just went along to watch – it’s a lot more entertaining than regular golf), clubbing at Filth (also a great social study), and quiet-ish nights on campus. I’ve met a handful of Wadham freshers as well, one of whom is one of my “college sisters,” Rose. (To help us settle in, we’re assigned a couple of second-years as college parents, and other first-years as siblings.)

Right now it seems overwhelming to try to retell the lot of it. Hopefully over the next couple weeks I’ll get more to access things like a keep-people-far-away-updated blog. Do send me e-mails, much love and all that goodness!

Rina

Wednesday 26 September 2007

Addressed to the Well-to-Be

It’s been quite a while since I’ve wanted to share parts of my life with people on the internetz, even longer since the content could be described on any level as decent. But now, now, now that I’m on my way to England (am on a huge-o 777 as I type this, in fact) and am leaving just about everyone I care about at least 3500 miles away, I thought it might be good idea to provide an easily-accessible update for you folk. Yes, I mean you. (I like you the best.)

I hope to make good use of this site by updating regularly. I expect to talk about my courses and tutors, the folk in my program (nice things, don’t worry!), Oxford life, and what it’s like to spend all hours of the day reading books bigger than my head. And of course all sorts of “and how does that make you feel?” things (hi, Daddy!). I also hope to include photos, from snapshots with my not-quite-idiot-proof digital camera to photographs taken with my should-be-idiot-proof-but-I’m-a-pretty-big-idiot film camera.

So. It’s in the night-time of 25 September, a day toward which I have been counting since at least mid-March. I mean, that was when I found out I was accepted into the Sarah Lawrence College at Oxford Programme; I’ve wanted to be enrolled in this program for about two years. These past few weeks have been anxiety-provoking and exciting, to say the least. From trying to pack up my life in a couple of suitcases and a carry-on (DONE!) to saying goodbye to any number of people in New York and Los Angeles to being remarkably inept with my new/old camera, it’s not been easy to remembering to breathe, it’s been a challenge. But now I’m stepping into the next stage of it and [insert inspiring/cheesy conclusion here].

Much love,
Reensydoodles

PS Feel free to send me love, e-mails, songs, and warm socks.