With a Crunchy Outer Shell

I've been having a conversation via messages with a friend and in reference to my rejection from Oxford, I wrote the following. I decided that we're not quite close enough for me to send it to her, but I felt it was unusually honest and I didn't want to lose it.

I'm sure UCL will be a wonderful experience for me. I mourned Oxford for a day or two before coming to my senses, but I think the shock and resignation have faded and I feel the beginnings of bitterness stirring in my blood. Or perhaps that's just who I am these days. I was so stoic and together during most of my sophomore year and my year in Oxford, and I have been so pained since my return to the States, but the residue of these feelings seems to have hardened into bitterness, cynicism, and misanthropy.