Open Letter to Rachel Shulamit

Dear Baby Frankiel,

You are so cute. All your nicknames are so cute (especially the ones I came up with -- Sully? I mean, your name is Shulamit and you were born just when Pilot Sully landed the plane in the Hudson!). I mean, even when you squawk and squeal, you are cute, so that's saying something. I'm even OK when you cry (most of the time) and I willing to help comfort you (all of the time). But. Dude. All I ask is that you NOT cry and squawk and scream right when I come home from work. I just want a fifteen minute window between parking my car and hearing your shouts.

Please?

Please.

After that, my ears are all yours. Because I love you and you are incredibly cute. I mean, the way that you don't care when you spit up mushed bananas all over your chest and shirt? So adorable (and kinda gross). The way you pet my face when you're tired? Heart-breakingly cute. Even when you pull my hair or earrings or nose -- I mean, as far as I can tell, you have monopolized the Cute Market. Even when you cry in the middle of the night, fine, that's not cute, but I can handle that.

But those fifteen minutes.

Because otherwise, dude, you lose serious Cute Points.

Love,
Rina

PS No matter what your parents say, I'm not "Doda Rina" or "Auntie Rina." Just "Rina." If I'm going to be the Cool Aunt (and I AM -- have you seen my facial piercings? My tattoo?) then I'm just "Rina" to you.

PPS YOU ARE SO CUTE I COULD CRY AND SOMETIMES I DO AND THEN MY OVARIES CRY AND DEAR CHRIST YOU'RE LUCKY I DON'T HAVE A BOY IN MY LIFE BECAUSE I AM TO YOUNG TO GIVE YOU A COUSIN.